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Philippine Adoption | 205: What issues do adoptees experience?

As an adoptee - what issues do we go through? Are there a set of problems we commonly face?

When prospective adoptive parents YouTube about adopting - adopting from the Philippines how much are they researching into what adoptees face throughout their life?

Problems that Arise for Adoptees

  • Why we need to talk about adoption amongst us

  • Adoption is life long and comes up for us during different stages of life.

  • Not all adoptees experiences are the same, but we have some common struggles.

As children - if knowing

  • Not having language as kids, parents not wanting to talk about adoption.

  • Feel alone growing up - because no one talks about it to us. Left to figure out the elephant in the room

  • Confusion or Shame because its hidden

  • Being left on our own to figure it out

  • Why am I here? Suicidal ideation Not able to share experiences with other kids going through same thing to talk about struggles.

  • Adoptees see their non-adoptee siblings relate to their parents. Adoptees face racism in all white communities. Not having race discussions - world doesn’t see us as Caucasian white. Its important to have race discussions.

  • Not seeing someone like us if we grow up not around other Asians

  • Belonging - you deny it. We deny it. Then we get into reality - and it doesn’t work that way. People see our differences. We weren’t prepared. Not feeling American enough, not feeling Filipino enough.

  • In PI: Kids when they don’t know or understand what adoption means, they will joke or shame adoptee children. Ampon - being seen as shameful. Need to change that view point.

  • As a child - where is protection if there is domestic violence. Or is there a community for the adoptee.

  • As children - not knowing - late discovery

  • Anger. About the mistruths. Foundation of lies.

  • Not a lot of therapy resources for Filipinos

  • If there is - its not centered around adoption

  • Also needs to be trauma informed

  • Not a lot of intercultural

  • Help adoptees and their families process the feelings, getting through tough conversations.

  • Working through our insecurities with family. Isolation at least once from birth mother, for some adoptees isolation twice from adoptive parents

  • Constantly learning something new about our lives, that a lot of people already knew

  • Reunion with birth families:

  • We have to hunt for what should be ours to do with - we have to sift through false narratives

  • Falsified records - needed for daily life

  • Medical records -

  • A big issue in the adoption community is being able to be open about adoption. How we really feel. 40% or less most adoptees really feel they can talk about with their families and communities - their true feelings. Without judgement, feeling defensive, but talking about a part of truths, that happened in our lives. Often we’re told to get over it and it shouldn’t have to be talked about. Be appreciative of the life we have. So We don’t feel comfortable to talk about a lot of it and this leads to problems within the adoptee. We wouldn’t tell other folks experiencing trauma to get just get over it. And we shouldn’t have to.

  • There are some really open minded adoptive families out there. This is just a snippet of what adoptees may go through as they grow up.

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